Monday, September 27, 2010

Girls day out at the Chiefs game

I survived the weekend. I could barely stand after Friday night, but I managed to rise early on Saturday to help Weave move, jog 6 miles (broke a personal record!), then worked Sat night.

Now I mentioned that I wasnt completely into the Chiefs game on Sunday (I was already exhausted) but planned to go because I wanted to see a few girlfriends, and I do really need the girl time. I woke at 8:20 am, showered, packed, filled up with gas, then headed to the city. The girls were ready before me so they went inside and I knew they were annoyed with me already for not sleeping over Sat night, then being somewhat late for tailgating. I had a great time tho and it was great to see them. I was not drinking, and I know sober people look boring, but I HONESTLY had fun. The Chiefs played awesome, the VIP tickets were outstanding, the homemade burgers were "the best burgers I ever put in my mouth", and the girls are the best girls I could have been with.

However, at the end of the game, I soberly watched all the fans evacuating the stadium at 3 o'clock, and I was so envious. I had loved catching up with the girls although it is very hard to have a conversation during the previous 3 hours of cheering and drinking. SO, I watched those fans leaving, looked at my watch, and I knew that my girls were prepared for another two hours of partying easily. I wanted to go home. So I did.

Thats where things soured. My bestie was totally bummed that I refused to stay as they cheered and slowly downed their last beers during the final minute of the game. I told her how great everything was but that I needed to start my commute home and rest before working another 12 hour workday. It ended up being a complete clash of viewpoints. She had worked hard to put everything together and was not ready for the festivities to end, I understand. And if I had not been sober, I am sure I would have wanted to party longer as well.

In the end, she told me she wouldnt have wanted anyone else there and that she wasnt mad at me anymore. She truly is a great person and I know she doesnt like to hold grudges because she cares about people too much. (love ya Tino:)

To conclude..... I would like to keep going in this new direction with my social life if I can. I want to meet and hang out while saving money and with less drinking. We shall see.....thats easier to do when I am as content as I currently am. I hope it stays that way because I feel great.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Spirit Week and Friends

Well it is Spirit Week at school. I like to dress up so this year I have created my own spirit costumes. Yesterday I was an alien from Toy Story. Today I am Indian themed, from Pocahontas. Tomorrow is Greek day.

Anyway, because it is Spirit week it is also very busy. Monday I worked from 8 am until 8 pm at meetings and then extra duties. Grades were due Tuesday. Friday is Homecoming day, the football game, and then I am working extra duties at the school dance until Midnight. Saturday I have to help senior sponsors set up and tear down a dinner banquet. I LOVE my job. I don't mind the extra duties or being busy occasionally, as long as I can still squeeze in some fitness and personal time at home with Darrin before starting the next work day or week.

I am facing a slight conflict with balancing things, as usual. My girlfriends have been planning nights out for a few weeks now, and I have been missing in action for many of those nights lately. Tino has been picking up tickets to wizards and chiefs games; Kendra has been getting free happy hours at power and light. They are great deals, free meals, good seats etc. My little problem is that right now my priorities are different. I have been finding a great amount of peace in eating healthy, drinking less often, enjoying the outdoors, going for jogs and lifting weights, and especially saving money. I have been saving over half of my entertainment budget lately and feel great not drinking.

What I wish for is the ability to meet the girls for happy hours, dinners, walks at the park, movie nights, painting our nails etc, and then be able to go home. Instead it requires a commute to Kansas city, heavy drinking, overspending, and hugely crowded social events. This often requires arranging rides, driving, or packing overnight bags.

Why am I complaining????? They are the greatest friends I could possibly hang out with. I love them. I should feel lucky they want to hang out with me. I hope when I am in need they would be there for me and I hope I am not wussing out on them too much. I am going to meet them this weekend because I want to see them, not because I want to go to a chiefs game or drink beers or pay 20 dollars to park. When I get there I might even enjoy it as much as I know I will enjoy seeing the girls.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

a little bit of everything

When I put this blog together, It felt sooooo good. I was super excited about having a place to vent, share thoughts and ideas, and spill my guts. So every day I think to myself "what could I blog about today?", exercise, friends, family......and I draw a blank!
My life seems casual, balanced, scattered. So here is a random and scattered blog post.....hopefully I will be able to develop more interesting and specific posts in the future.

1. I LOVE work. My job is truly great right now. I dont dread coming in to work, I actually look forward to it. I have made new friends, gotten to know the students, and my schedule is better this year. Classes are smaller, better behaved, and my lessons are better. I am carpooling with the music teacher. We have fun and I feel like I have some type of comrade. I also save maybe a hundred bucks a month on gas.

2. I still enjoy Sedalia. I enjoy having friends close by and on call. I enjoy the parks, trails, hanging out with my mom, and cheap nights out. That said, I have definitely become tired of living in my cute little apartment. I have been ready for quite some time to live with someone, either Darrin or a roommate. Monster needs a new home before i can move.....

3. The fitness challenge is fun and motivating. I am also looking at a possible half marathon (13 mile run) in November. My college pal Melanie is interested in helping me work out a diet and fitness plan to beat Darrin in our I can swim, run, bike, weightlift, etc. My gym membership is cheap and I can swim for a dollar a night.

4. My financial plan is coming along awesome. I am paying off debt, saving, snowballing, and i am past all the hard parts. It took me 3 months to just figure out WHERE i spend my money, and then to create my budget. Now that I know my budget, I look forward to every expense, including bills. Its satisfying to me, just like throwing things away and cleaning my house. How wierd is that??

5. I have accepted that I might not have children. I would of course if all the necessary pieces of the life puzzle had fallen that way for me, but so far they have not. I am not sad or regretful. I enjoy kids (why else would I enjoy teaching), but I am like many people that were never in a hurry and if it happens, it happens. I saw a documentary on happiness, and it said that having children doesnt necessarily make people happier. In terms of relationships, it said couples that have children are less satisfied with their relationship because of less quality time, obligations, etc. This doesnt mean that ppl with kids are unhappy, just that relationships change when you do. Whether I have kids of my own between 28 and 40, or meet someone and become a stepmom, thats fine. If i never do, that is also fine.

6. to Darrin. I love him. I enjoy every minute with him. I have never had any qualms about my ability to be loyal, to commit, to enjoy the rest of my life with him. That said....our relationship has been on again , off again, and rocky. I could probably write a novel rather than a blog post on that subject. I will save the energy for later and time unfolds :)

7. So all in all, I am very happy with my life. Career, family, friends, money, travels, fitness, all are exactly where I want them to be. If I could get the relationship on calm and settled ground, I think I would fly from cloud nine up to heaven already.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

the challenge

So Darrin and I have decided to compete against each other in a fitness challenge. So far it is fun! Our competition lasts two months (until Oct. 31 halloween). In the jar we are each putting in 50 dollars. We are also contributing one dollar per each: over the top sweet, fast food meal, and alcoholic beverage.
Our winner will be measured by bodyfat percentage and weight loss. (We ordered those skinfold calipers online).
So....I know Darrin and I are fairly healthy and in decent shape but we both wanted some motivation to exercise. I would like to focus on a healthy diet and weightlifting with light cardio. I am curious to see who wins :)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

the alligators

The red hot chili peppers said in a song "Up to my ass in alligators, lets get it on with the alligator hators"

I have always loved this quote. I picture myself standing in a knee deep baby pool with calm, happy, well-fed, alligators sleeping all around me. Now what would those alligators do if i made them very very angry??

Look around you, who are you surrounded by? What would upset them? What are the silent rules in your life that you are not supposed to break? The things that you maybe sometimes wish you could do? I hate living with those restrictions, but the sad thing is that I have to. I created those restrictions when I grew up and took on responsibilities, such as a career, paying bills, working in education, renting a house, etc. I have to act responsible and smart to keep my life the way it is. Of course, I can change my life anytime, but that involves making some decisions about my career etc.

So what do i do when I just have the urge to be CRAZY???? The urge to act out, have too much to drink at the wrong place or wrong time, do too much of one thing, skip my obligations, run away, max out my credit cards and travel the world, meet a stranger somewhere, what else?? Arent those things all on my bucket list anyway? Ha!

I know....its all about BALANCE, and careful planning. but thats boring and involves no alligators...or alligator hators.

why blog?

I have not read many blogs. I am partly inspired to create my blog because I was invited to read my friend Whitney's blog "days of my life." She is an open book: honest, real, funny, and personal. After reading her blog I was jealous of her ability to share EVERYTHING with EVERYBODY. And I am not kidding, "everything" is what makes her life and blog so interesting. It looked so refreshing to just spit it all out there regardless of what people might think, especially since she has a tight circle of family and friends that already know, and already love her no matter what.

I am not sure that I have that tight circle of family and friends, but I sure would like to. My family is very supportive and my friends are generally positive. But tight-knit? I dunno. And do they know everything about me? I think........

So my dream is to create that loving circle of people around myself and know that they are there through whatever life phase I begin. Maybe this blog will help. Even if it doesnt, lets have some fun.