Saturday, September 10, 2011

Goals

Goals

Previously I blogged about how making goals can really cheer me up, and they still do. What has changed is that I don't meet my goals anymore. Over the summer I had set a personal art studio goal of creating 6-8 paintings and showing them in an art show. I have 3 paintings, only two of which were created this summer, and one of those is not even complete.

My other failed goal was to return to physical fitness this school year. The first duathlon is in two weeks and I have done nothing. The 5k that I reluctantly committed to is October 29th, and there is a big chance I will back out and simply focus on Halloween parties that weekend instead.

So the things that i have thought defined me: art, fitness, reaching goals, seem to keep falling by the wayside. I know other people must feel they dont have time for what keeps them happy. Instead I am surviving each day back at work, struggling to plan lessons And presentations, get grading done, deal with extra duties and concession stand chores, feeding and caring for ducks twice a day, going to meetings, worried about moving up in my career, trying to keep up with house cleaning, car maintenance, budgeting, aaagh! It's just not as good as I want things to be. We are never happy right?? Things are never good enough. The basement is going to house my art studio as well as the workout room this winter, and I wonder how often I will actually step foot down there for either of those things?? Do My life and my identity keep getting further and further away from who I think I am? I am so busy, never enough time. Is my time spent on things that are worth it?? Maybe if I could just get caught up on everything else i could decide and figure this stuff out!