Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Boo hoo. . . . .

Boo hoo . . . .. . .

So I hate that I'm turning 30. I'm not the graceful person that embraces ageless beauty, nor the grateful person that claims to have the best life ever and no number could bring me down. I do have an awesome life and great friends and family, but I'm still turning 30!   Who wants to leave their twenties? The decade of partying, beauty, endless opportunity, a road with a hundred paths to turn on, the decade of college, finding yourselves, and the last decade of your true youth? Am I the only person that properly values the twenties?

The first time I cut my hair super short, the first time I truly had a good time and just let go. Experimental jobs. College classes that I miss dearly. The college lifestyle of leisure and learning that I seem never will be replaced. Drinking beers at Royals games, being a hundred percent spontaneous, decorating my bedroom with magazine pictures, wearing odd new clothing styles, knocking over one personal challenge after another. Living alone in the cutesy apartment.

Okay, so I know I'm being too focused on the past. My crisis is driven by multiple factors and the loss of a lifestyle as it sinks in more and more that I am really settling down. The timing of everything along with the 30th birthday probably makes the age seem more than it is. And many of the things I listed can still be done in the thirties, right? But does anyone actually continue to do so? Come on ppl, help me out.

Each day I realize how old I am in another way. This week, it was the mere shift of my regular routine to include a morning workout. Suddenly I am a morning person!!! It feels great! But it also depresses me. Does that make sense?

Well, I can at least end this with the announcement that I have met most of my 30 day challenge goals. Yay. Sarcasm. . . . .I beat my mile time of 9:40, with a time of 9:31. I'm pretty sure that I ran a 9:25 a couple months ago. I did ten decent pushups this morning. I listed mat exercises to add to the routine and enjoy doing them. My plank is weak but I'm getting there.

It feels blah. There is a relief that I met my goals, but not a huge sense of pride or accomplishment. More so the sense of giving in. I'm no longer resisting. I'm getting old. Ugh.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Bucket list renewed

I decided to renew my bucket list and started brainstorming. While doing so, I realized I am settling down and very career oriented. Some wishes were materialistic instead of experience driven. Many others were career goals. What I am missing are the exciting things though. I couldn't even think of any! The last time i wrote a bucket list was in college, and I know it was crazy. See a giant alligator or lion, check. Make out with someone in an elevator, check. What else? I also think . . . . . .I have done most of those crazy things. I must have, right? Regardless, here is the new version with thoughts included.


Bucket list or things I have considered, or things I want. . . . . . In random order.

Learn Spanish, preferably while abroad in puerto Rico, costa rica, or elsewhere.
Market my blog professionally
Teach English internationally
Visit Asia: Thailand, hong kong, china, Japan, etc
Visit argentina and the south American inca ruins
Complete another triathlon of equal length, hopefully 2013
Payoff debt: one credit card and two degrees
Have lots of duck babies, from my own ducks
Go on a cruise or resort stay, without worrying about expenses

Is this really all I can imagine????? Keep trying . . . . . .

Ride in a hot air balloon that lands safely
Create a painting/art series and my first show in a gallery
Work in a college atmosphere
Research and write papers or conduct research surveys etc
Learn art therapy

Geez my first bucket list in college was so much more interesting. I guess I am getting old and realistic... .more brainstorming.....

Home desires that are materialistic and don't belong on a bucket list:
A walk in closet
An office of my own at home with a reading window nook
A second level master bedroom/bath with a balcony overlooking the pond
A gas saving new car

More bucket list?
Startup my business idea . . .its a secret :) get the two related books to read
Have an orange male tomcat indoor/outdoor
Have an endless pool or access to something just as good.

I give up. This is plenty to pursue until i think of more extravagant experiences.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

30 days . . .

30 days . . .

I created a Facebook event for my upcoming birthday party, and I was able to time it so the invites sent out exactly thirty days ahead. It's also my 30th birthday, as well as my golden birthday, and some special people are coming so . . . .it's kinda a big deal :)

As it has been sinking in how old I am going to be, I debate on how much I should give in to old age and let myself go :) ha. Maybe I should give up the tanning salon and start wearing sunblock to prevent wrinkles? Wear capris instead of short skirts? Flats instead of heels, quit wearing makeup . . . . . I am ashamed to admit I have already changed. I'm old, and nothing makes it more clear than to look at myself from the perspective of a 22 year old, or even worse, from the perspective of an 11 year old.

Regardless of the obvious reality, I continue to fight on. From the midst my mind has formed a thirty day challenge for myself: one last tanning package, one more fitness challenge, one more night out in a sparkly dress.

The thirty day fitness challenge I have formed for myself is this: I want to be able to do pushups. I want to beat my fastest time on the mile run. I want to kick butt on burpees, do two minutes of planks, sprint up hills. I have done small challenges each day now for 7 days. Slowly increasing my time, my form, my number of correct pushups. There is no big goal like the triathlon, just a lot of small goals building up to create one big plan.

I love it.

Another thing helping me is the government website: Supertracker, created by the USDA. It counts your calories, but does a lot more. It graphs your nutrition intake, fitness, and sends tips and reminders. It also congratulates me when I meet goals :)
The downside to super tracker, like any calorie counter, is the time I spend entering meals and exercise. But I do know that I eat enough iron, protein, and too much carbs. It's fun for thirty days at least.

So next, I'm going to start logging how many pushups I did this morning, and try to do more tomorrow. At least I'm motivated right now, and the best thing about it is how good I feel.

30 day fitness challenge and goals:

Do ten pushups in a row, breathing the whole time, with good form.
Run sprints up hills in order to improve my running speed.
Beat my fastest mile time of 9:40.
Hold a plank for two minutes.
Practice doing burps, squats, and other researched mat exercises.

Long term goals:
Be able to do pull ups in good form.
Acquire the bar or machine that I can begin doing pull ups on.
Do another triathlon in 2013.